Caring for your ageing loved ones from a distance

When someone we love takes a turn for the worse, life abroad can suddenly become very stressful – and bring on a host of complex emotions and decisions. This week Expat Nest is delighted to welcome intercultural trainer, consultant and author Elizabeth Vennekens-Kelly as she discusses some strategies for dealing with this common expat challenge. Find more info on Elizabeth’s work at www.crossculture-training.be.
Career opportunities take individuals and their families away from their home country. Their focus is on the new job and adjusting to life in another country. In most cases parents have encouraged their child to take advantage of the unique opportunity to work and live in a foreign land. Expats quickly learn that life in another country is exciting but also more complicated. They have a new life to build and challenges to handle, so less thought is given to their relatives back home. It isn’t that they don’t care; it is simply a matter of human nature that if someone or something is absent, it is overlooked.
Today most pensioners are leading active lives so we don’t have to worry about them. However, a relative’s health status can change suddenly and dramatically. When we live on the other side of the world we feel helpless. Caring for your loved ones from a distance is a multi-faceted issue and there isn’t one right answer.  Expats dealing with a frail or ill loved one from a distance often comment that they are managing, although each describes unexpected challenges, frustrations and a desire to have known more in advance. The families are juggling multiple issues including guilt, resentment by other family members, time differences, added costs, cultural traditions, legal issues, and misunderstandings.
Here are five suggestions to consider:

1. Use technology to stay in touch with your loved ones, your family and those involved with the care. Technology gives you the opportunity to have an active role in the ongoing activities and decision process.
2. Create an emergency plan including a special fund. Put resources in place, such as childcare, so that you can react quickly. The emergency fund will help to reduce the financial burden of unexpected family expenses.
3. Whenever possible have open, honest conversations with your siblings and ageing loved ones so that everyone has the same expectations; this will minimize misunderstandings.
4. Look for creative ways to stay in touch and involved with the family. This can help lessen your feelings of guilt for being so far away.
5. Honour cultural differences including how people want to be cared for and how you can best honour them when they pass away.

Being prepared, having information, making a plan and opening dialogue with relatives will mean less scrambling when your loved ones need assistance. Being prepared for the ‘what if’ related to our ageing relatives can give us peace of mind.
Are you abroad and concerned about an elderly or ill relative at home? How do you and your family deal with this? We’d love to hear more tips! Feel free to share them in the comments section below.  

Did you like this article? If so, share it with someone you love and subscribe  to our TOP EXPAT TIPS.

© Vivian Chiona
WANT TO USE THIS ARTICLE IN YOUR NEWSLETTER, BLOG OR WEBSITE?
Feel free! We ask only that you include this information: Expat Nest is a professional online counselling service for expats. Expat Nest supports expats who are facing challenges and who want to feel happier and more relaxed in their international experience. http://www.expatnest.com


 Bron: http://www.expatnest.com/caring-ageing-loved-ones-distance/


Doordat Nederland in haar wijsheid heeft besloten om het niet meer mogelijk te maken dat oude en humpbehoevende alleenstaande ouders bij hun kinderen met een eigen inkomen in Nederland konden komen wonen zal dit voor de nodige gezinnen een probleem zijn.




Interessant artikel? Deel het eens met uw netwerk en help mee met het verspreiden van de bekendheid van dit blog. Er staan wellicht nog meer artikelen op dit weblog die u zullen boeien. Kijk gerust eens rond. Zelf graag wat willen plaatsen? Mail dan webmaster@vreemdelingenrecht.com In verband met geldwolven die denken geld te kunnen claimen op krantenartikelen die op een blog als deze worden geplaatst maar na meestal een dag voor de krantenlezers aan leeswaardigheid hebben ingeboet terwijl wij vreemdelingenrecht specialisten ze soms wel nog jaren gebruiken om er een kopie van te maken voor een zaak ga ik over tot het plaatsen van alleen het eerste stukje. Ja ik weet het: de kans dat u doorklikt is geringer dan wanneer het hele artikel hier staat en een kopie van het orgineel maken handig kan zijn voor uw zaak. Wilt u zelf wat overnemen van dit weblog. Dat mag. Zet er alleen even een link bij naar het desbetreffende artikel zodat mensen niet alleen dat wat u knipt en plakt kunnen lezen maar dat ook kunnen doen in de context.